Just Another Blogger

If I’ve been quiet on the blogging front recently, and I have, it’s not because I’m sitting with my feet up doing sweet F.A.

Well….not entirely true I s’pose, as due to me buggering my back there’s been more lying flat on the floor ingesting prescription meds than there has been recently.

Essentially, I forgot (or in some cases, just didn’t have the physical or emotional energy available) to admin myself properly.

In any Combat Arms unit, of any Army in the world, there’ll be a word that means to ensure your physical health is looked after; to sleep whenever possible because you don’t know when you’ll next get into your dry and warm Gore-Tex encased sleeping bag.

It’s just how it is; like any profession that exists for the greater populace, any personal wants and needs or even basic daily wishes are by necessity put aside for the greater good, or at least were originally set up for those purposes anyway.

Now…I absolutely agree with all the people that say “Ah…but that leads to Dictators and Nationalism or structures of governance that resemble an upside-down Pyramid in its structure”.

Or they would if they’d seen and experienced what I and a good percentage of both adults and kids in the UK and so many others around the world have witnessed, either first-hand because we were there and took part in these historical events, or because we’ve spoken to the dudes and dudettes who have lived that life themselves.

I’m getting off track, aren’t I?

Anyways….

In the last 2 months I’ve set myself up as a Digital Marketer, set up House Haywood Ltd. from scratch (insomnia does come in useful sometimes), sorted out family dramas and finished my Dialectical Behaviour Therapy course and I’ll be starting a Mentalisation Behaviour Therapy course that again lasts for 3 months and will be delivered via virtual video chats. My wife Tracy will also be starting her first DBT module soon through CPSL Mind, the same service that I used.

I’m also back into the Veterans Service system, having referred myself again, this time to get a full diagnosis of all my various mental conditions, to receive some counselling and for a physical MOT.

Walking with the Wounded have come through on the counselling front and have given me 12 virtual sessions with Karen, who’s a Psychotherapist as well as other words which I only just understand and I’m really looking forward to starting that soon.

The GP’s surgery has refused an MRI head scan as there’s “not enough evidence” of head trauma.

Noooo…I’ve only had 2 A&E admissions for head wounds as a kid, 2 car crashes, knocked unconscious more than once, used to black out as a teen and been around concussive blasts.

But no, they’re right obviously…”no evidence of head trauma”

That’s not even getting into the research and evidence from the US that links TBI’s (Traumatic Brain Injury) and CTE’s (Concussive Traumatic Events) directly to reduced mental health and cognitive ability.

I’ve already written 2 official complaints against my GP and her surgery so I’m a bit tired from this constant fight to receive the much vaunted “Duty of Care” and although I’ll appeal it, I’m not hopeful as to the results.

Family wise; Finn is doing really well and loving being off for the summer and Trace….

…..well, Trace is going from strength to strength because she’s starting the healing process and recovering slowly but also embracing the opportunities that are now coming to us after so long of wandering around in the dark, flailing blindly for light.

She’s now getting picked up by various fashion brands who want to give her shiny things, plus a commission, to wear and promote things that we haven’t been able to afford for a decade.

Surreal…..as…..hell!

But incredibly awesome.

There are some incredible things out there in the world that are so often completely overshadowed by all the negative people who are screaming into our faces, and by the incredibly, and constant, negative news cycle for ad clicks/revenue.

It’s there and it’s not going away but through learning some mental resilience and by searching for all the cool things that exist, you can turn away the dark and just shine as hard and as bright as you can.

Justin “Jud” Haywood – Just Another Blogger