Blogs

Focus is key but to focus you have to change,

I keep getting anxious though, more anger n being strange,

Even without the booze, I’ve noticed I’m just this same odd man,
The person that I’m running from is the same one when this began.

I still analyse my every move and what people say and do,

If others knew what was going off in my head, they wouldn’t believe it’s true.

I feel upset, I feel broken, I feel that everything’s on my back,
I feel that one thing after another gets so on top this train comes off its track.

I’m trying hard I promise me I say it day and night,

The voice keeps on telling me “Your right that will be right.”

I’m not sure about that so I got in touch with some pro to talk to me,
On the 12th of April, they gonna vid call me and see.

The amount of stuff I gotta get out I’m gonna confuse them with my life,
It’s funny that on the 12th of April I got married to my wife.

Also, this year on that date the lockdown starts to ease,
Is that when I’ll start breathing some more or is another life’s big tease?

I’m tired now as I type heads spinning inside don’t wanna cry,
I Gotta get more angry n grit my teeth n smile behind a lie,
Need to man up need to focus got to let someone in this skin I’ve made dough tough,
Let’s see if this Physiologist can see through my makeup stuff.

Am I gonna be another number a marked-up name upon a wall?

Will they get to know me or will I mean f**k all…
We’ll see?

Mark Pasty Astley